Contraception. 

A topic everyone seems to have a god damn opinion about right now. 

Luckily, I won’t be boring you with moral arguments or statements that don’t need sharing. Instead, I wish to discuss how birth control can affect our bodies. 

Keep in mind that I am not a doctor, but I may pretend to sound like one throughout this article. 

I took the pill for almost three years starting my last year of high school. I wanted to start it before entering college; however, it was during this time that I was experiencing depression and some anxiety. 

Now, at the time, I thought this was because of the uncertainty of high school, college, and being a young woman. And, maybe it was. But, in college I began seeing a counselor because of the sadness and overall dissatisfaction I was having with my life. 

This was my life for three years. No one could really tell me what was going on except that I was possibly prone to depression or maybe had a genetic disposition. Hours of counseling later I felt better having someone to spill out my dark thoughts to, but I was no where closer to finding a solution for myself and my newfound depression. 

I was hopeless and lonely. I had no control. 

I couldn’t see the good or reach out for support from friends and family. I felt like a burden, and decided to keep to my unhappy self. That’s not to say there wasn’t help or support being offered. Yet, I figured I couldn’t have a “normal” life and that I was truly someone that could not handle the world around me. 

It wasn’t until my mother and I discussed my struggles, and she had asked at what point did I first start taking birth control. 

BINGO! 

No one had ever asked if my discontent or depression stemmed from my chosen form of contraception. Why would they? Everyone is taking the pill. Sixty two percent, to be exact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The pill was playing a vital role in my incomprehensible turmoil. 

When first discussing the pill with my doctor, there was no mention of these side effects. Everyone mentions the potential physical risks, but no one told me I could get severely depressed. Even when doing research online, the first side effects that come up for birth control relate to physical conditions such as nausea, cramping, etc. 

Check out my video on my experience with birth control.

Now, I don’t share this story to scare everyone and tell people to stop taking birth control. It’s just one story, but one tale that could potentially help another person if they, too, experience extreme mood changes when taking birth control. 

I’m also not trying to minimize mental health. Such a topic deserves the utmost importance and seriousness. However, in my experience, it is possible that our mental health can be disrupted from what we put into our bodies. 

Some people have actually reported that birth control has helped their mental health along with several other ailments or prior discomforts. Each pill and each body is different. 

Moral of the story, learn the risks and then listen to your body. 

Years later, I tried a different birth control pill and experienced the same loss of control and had to stop within a month. Y’all, I became an actual fucking monster. At one point, I started crying when I couldn’t roll up the adjacent window in my car. Legitimate tears streamed down my face, and I was never one for crying in the first place. So, I listened to my body and stopped taking the pill and have vowed to never return to that form of contraception.

At one point, I looked into other forms such as an IUD. But, plot twist, my cervix is too small. So I must wait until I either birth a child or something widens down there as years pass. Who knows. 

What I do know is that I am no longer depressed. In fact, I’m the happiest I have ever been. I am no longer having sudden emotional outbursts 2-4 times a week. I get scared thinking about what it would have been like had I never realized that a pill could be causing me so much pain.

So, it’s just not for me, even though everyone around me might not understand or relate. In the end, my happiness comes first. 

Sending good vibes your way. 

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